The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything
 作词 : Mike Nawrocki/Kurt Heinecke
 作曲 : Mike Nawrocki/Kurt Heinecke
We are the pirates we don't do anything
We just stay at home and lie around
And if you ask us to do anything
We'll just tell you  we don't do anything
Well I've never been to Greenland  and I've never been to Denver
And I've never buried treasure in St  Louie or St  Paul
And I've never been to Moscow  and I've never been to Tampa
And I've never been to Boston in the fall
'Cause we are the pirates we don't do anything
We just stay at home and lie around
And if you ask us to do anything
We'll just tell you  we don't do anything
And I've never hoist the main sail  and I've never swabbed the poop deck
And I've never veered starboard 'cause I've never sailed at all
And I've never walked the gang plank  and I've never owned a parrot
And I've never been to Boston in the fall
'Cause we are the pirates we don't do anything
We just stay at home and lie around
And if you ask us to do anything
We'll just tell you  we don't do anything
Oh  I've never plucked a rooster and I am not too good at ping-pong
And I've never thrown my mashed potatoes up against the wall
And I've never kissed a chipmunk  and I've never gotten head lice
And I have never been to Boston in the fall
Huh  What are you talking about
What's a rooster and mashed potatoes have to do with being a pirate
Hey  thats right
We are supposed to sing about pirate-y things
And who's ever kissed a chipmunk
That's just nonsense  Why even bring it up
Am I right  What do you think
I think you look like Captain Crunch
Huh  No I don't
Do too
Do not
You're making me hungry
Thats it  You're walkin' the plank
Says who
Says the Cap'n  thats who
Oh yeah  Ay Ay  Cap'n Crunch  hehehehe
Arrrgggghh
Yikes
And I've never licked a spark plug
And I've never sniffed a stinkbug
And I've never painted daises
On a big red rubber ball
And I've never bathed in yogurt
And I don't look good in leggings
You just don't get it
And we've never been to Boston in the fall
Pass the chips
Who's got the remote control  Here it is
Time for Heraldo
It's definately time for Loch Nech
Ohh   I don't like this show
Hey look  I found a quarter