[00:00.09]Thank you one and all for your attendance
[00:02.14]And we guarantee that your time here will not be spent in vain.
[00:05.26]In fact, we think it will prove to be the most valuable time
[00:07.90]You've ever spent.
[00:10.17]The flim flam brothers!
[00:11.67]This should be interesting.
[00:12.83]Yep.
[00:13.79]Welcome one and all to the demonstration of a lifetime.
[00:16.50]A demonstration of a better life.
[00:18.47]A demonstration of a better time.
[00:20.47]And if we havent't captured your interest just yet
[00:22.85]By the time we finish an unfortunate phenomenom
[00:25.58]Practically guarantees that we will.
[00:27.33]A phenomenon?
[00:28.31]What's that?
[00:28.99]It's a circumstance perceptible by the senses
[00:31.30]But in this case it's the simple fact that...
[00:34.13]There's ailments all around us in everything we touch and see.
[00:37.90]The sickness that lies waiting there
[00:39.72]In every breath you breathe.
[00:41.62]Disease will up and grab you as it crawls from land and sea
[00:45.41]It's amazing how infected that the natural world and all its things can be.
[00:50.48]Now I understand that some of you don't think you're sick
[00:53.57]But twisted hooves and aching joints
[00:55.76]Don't heal all that quick.
[00:57.37]Consider just how dangerous this world is, you might-
[01:00.58]Slip and fall, break or sprain something here tonight
[01:04.06]But luckily for you we've got the thing you need.
[01:08.14]And it's easier when all you need's the cure
[01:11.90]The flim flam miracle curative tonic
[01:15.69]Is just what the doctor ordered, I'm sure.
[01:18.43]Now I know our claims seem fantastical...
[01:20.52]Impractical
[01:21.49]Improbable
[01:22.35]Impossible...
[01:23.39]And magical!
[01:25.05]So we welcome every suffering pony to make their way up to the stage.
[01:29.05]And we'll prove our tonic's effectiveness
[01:31.99]Before your very eyes!
[01:33.49]You there! Come up here, good sir.
[01:36.00]I'll wager you're tired of those crutches, my friend.
[01:38.91]Try taking a sip of this!
[01:55.10]That's why you're so luckly!
[01:58.04]We've got the thing for you
[02:00.48]Just come on up, we've always got some more!
[02:04.31]Of the flim flam miracle curative tonic
[02:08.04]I won't need these crutches to dance out the door!
[02:11.68]Now, how do you like that?
[02:13.43]I don't.
[02:14.51]There's something funny about this whole thing.
[02:19.17]Now some of you may suffer from feelings of despair
[02:23.70]You're old, you're tired, your legs won't work
[02:26.12]There's greying in your hair
[02:28.06]Just listen; I'll tell you that you don't need to fear
[02:32.24]Your ears will work your muscles tone
[02:34.16]Your eyes will see so clear!
[02:36.20]Luckily for us you've got the thing we need!
[02:39.78]The answer to our problems in a jar
[02:43.56]The flim flam miracle curative tonic
[02:47.36]It's the greatest ever miracle by far!
[02:50.11]It cures the reins, the spurs and clydesdale fur blight(Tonic! Tonic! Tonic!)
[02:53.04]Hooferia and horsyntary, cured in just a night!(Tonic! Tonic! Tonic! Tonic!)
[02:56.70]You've got swollen hooves and hindquarters or terrible bridle bit cleft.
[03:00.70]Saunter sits and gallop plop or give your tail some heft.
[03:04.21]Mane loss, hay fever, or terrible tonsillitis.
[03:07.42]You heard it here folks, this is the only place in all of equestria you'll find it.
[03:12.07]It can make you short or tall or even grow old.
[03:15.67]But who'd want that?
[03:16.71]When with one drink,
[03:17.76]You can be young again...
[03:19.62]Sold!
[03:21.28]Congratulations, granny smith.
[03:23.23]You've just made the purchase of a lifetime!
[03:26.02]Are you as worried as I am?
[03:28.31]Yep.